Tuesday, August 28, 2012

You're Coming

Baby Boy,

You're coming.

There's no denying it.

Not that I was denying it, but for some reason I hadn't let it sink in until now, about a week before you're scheduled to arrive.

I'll be honest, I was worried about my lack of excitement for your presence.

I was worried that my heart was already as full as it could possibly be with the love I have for your daddy and your sister.

I remember with your sister how I would sit in her room for hours just looking around, folding her clothes. I was in awe of this being.

I realize now that some of my lack of excitement comes from a lack of time or energy. I don't have the luxury of sitting in your room for hours staring in wonder.

Instead, my wonder over you has come about by holding my newborn nephew, your cousin, in my arms last week.

As I held this tiny baby boy in my arms, I felt it. This longing to meet you, to hold you, to begin this journey in knowing you.

I can feel my heart expanding; making room.

It's creating a space just for you. It has your name and shape in it.

I can already see your brown hair, your wrinkled newborn skin, your grey eyes.

Those tiny toes that don't look possible.

Morgan, my boy, you are so loved by your mamma. You are so cherished by your dada.

You are so anticipated by your sister.

I thank God for this ability to love more; for the heart's ability to grow. It's incredible.