Summa Summa Summa Time

It's hot.

The suns out.

Summer is so close I can almost feel what it's like to sleep past 5am, to finish a cup of coffee while watching my daughter run around with messy hair in her pj's, to not make lesson plans or grade papers.

Admittedly, it's been tough to stay motivated in my classroom. I can feel my students slowly slipping away into the lazy-day fog that is summer and I can feel myself letting them.

It happens to every teacher. This profession is hard and one of the only ways we stay sane is by taking a large break for the month of June and July. It's one of the main reasons we return to do it all over again the next school year.

This summer will be my last with just one child. I plan on relishing in my daughter and the time we will have together, knowing that come September my time with her will be even more limited.

This summer will be a special one. We are not taking some crazy whirlwind vacation. We are staying in Mexico City at home.

Staying.
Resting.

No airplanes, no road trips, no need to see everyone we possibly can.

Had you told me a year or two ago that we wouldn't be visiting friends and family in the U.S. over the summer I would have laughed in your face and said, nice try, batman.

But now, as summer approaches, I am thrilled by the idea.

This just goes to prove how much this place has become my home. It is where I feel comfortable and where I can rest.

This is where my family is.

So, cheers to warm weather, fans, being barefoot and messy 2-year-olds.

Here's an oldy but a goody to get you as pumped up as I am. You know you love it.

Joy

I saw this quote the other day and it completely caught me.

How much joy do I have in my life?

It's huge.

And yet, how often do I diminish that joy when I start comparing it to what others have.

It's so easy to create that list in my head. The list of things I wish I had or wish were different.

I almost began to type it here and then I stopped myself.

I'm not going to go there.

I'm not even going to let my fingers type it down.

Because when I allow myself to go there, to think about it, to create this list, even in the name of a blog post, I am allowing those comparisons to win.

Right now in this moment I am choosing joy. I am choosing to let that be the focus and to let that overcome those comparisons, because joy deserves it.

My joy, my daughter, my marriage, my unborn son, my bi-cultural experience; all of it deserves to be put at the forefront of my mind always.

Dear Isabela

 

Dear Isabela,

It's Mother's Day today, so I thought it fitting to spend some time reflecting on being your mother.
I have only been your mother for a relatively short time. In the grand scheme of things it is nothing compared to the vast future I have ahead of me as your mother.

Over the last almost 2 years I have cried over you, smiled over you, laughed over you and held you. I have changed your diapers, cuddled with you before bed time, held you close after you've bumped your head while you cried on my shoulder.

There are so many tiny moments that have existed in our time together. And yet, when I collect them and put them together over the past 2 years, they are expansive.

I imagine this is only a glimpse of what it will be like 16 years from now, when you will one day leave our house and go find a home that is your own.

I hope that in all I do I am loving to you; although, I know there have been times when I have failed at showing you this; those times when you try my patience or when the crying doesn't stop. These are the times I pray for strength; strength to be just that much more patient, to be just that much more kind.

But know that even in those moments, I do love you. It is an innate feeling I have for you; it cannot be diminished. I love you big or small, crying or calm, clean or dirty, obedient or disobedient, screaming or whispering.

I love you as a doctor or a janitor, as an introvert or an extrovert, gay or straight, as a college graduate or a world traveler.

You are special and you are unique. You are thoughtful and curious. You are confident and talkative; and I am so proud of you.

Thank you for being my daughter; for teaching me what motherhood is all about. Thank you for stretching my ability to love.

I love you, my daughter.

Love,
Mom

Baby Boy

 

To my baby boy:

This is a song I have long loved. It is one I have dreamed of singing to a little boy one day, and now I have that chance. I am so thankful to be the mother of this little boy I have inside of me.

Dragon tales and the "water is wide". Pirate's sail and lost boys fly. Fish bite moonbeams every night And I love you

Godspeed, little man, Sweet dreams, little man. Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings. Godspeed Sweet dreams

The rocket racer's all tuckered out. Superman's in pajamas on the couch. Goodnight moon, will find the mouse And I love you

Godspeed, little man, Sweet dreams, little man. Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings. Godspeed Sweet dreams

God bless mommy and match box cars. God bless dad and thanks for the stars. God hears "Amen," wherever we are And I love you

Godspeed, little man, Sweet dreams, little man. Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings. Godspeed Godspeed Godspeed Sweet dreams

Ponder

4: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5: It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6: Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7: It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8: Love never fails. --1 Corinthians 13

I'm keeping this one in my pocket and in my mind as the summer approaches, sickness takes my body for a ride, and life currently doesn't allow for any breaks.

Speaking of love