I was engaged by her style of writing, her casual and honest vibe, and so I read through some of her old posts.
That's when I stumbled upon this one on Marriage
She writes about her marriage since having children; the tough parts, the strain that is sometimes there. She writes about how in having and raising children you do lose a part of yourself and your relationship to the time and effort it takes in bringing up another human being.
She writes about the loss of connection that can occur between a husband and a wife and that it is in those times that frustrations can flare.
And then she writes: "But when anger flashes in my eyes, when frustration flies from your lips, I am never scared. Because we built this house of our marriage to withstand a rainstorm, a flood, wind and limbs and leaves. You laid the bricks and I poured the mortar. And I know that one of us will walk away. and we both will breath. and always, every single time, I’ll find that place in the curve of your body that God made just to shelter me."
I feel as though she has put so beautifully into words how I feel in my marriage since having children. I love my husband; I cherish him; we fight, sometimes we yell, there have been some f-bombs thrown every now and then; and yet, I am never scared. I know this is the man who I love more than anyone and who I know loves me more than anyone. We have chosen each other and this life together; all that it includes.
The tired days, the frustrations, the mess that can sometimes build up.
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In these summer days when I am home all day I often find myself on Facebook, looking into the lives of other young couples raising young children and I will see what looks like always happy smiling faces, never crying babies, beautiful women, handsome men, adorable babies in adorable outfits; and I will think, wow, it all looks so perfect.
It is hard in those moments not to realize that this is only a cover to their stories. There is so much inside, and by no means is it all perfect. They are real, just as I am.
Life is hard, marriage is work and raising children is comparable to climbing a mountain.
But it's all one giant mountain with the most beautiful view. In this climb you get glimpses of the surrounding beauty and it reminds you why you are doing it; why it is so incredibly worth it.
I am so beyond thankful for my view
I wish more people knew marriage was hard work. I think people assume it's supposed to be all perfection with chocolate sprinkles all the time so when they start hitting a bumpy road, they just give up and that's why we have so many divorces. This is a lovely post, Lauren. :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I just have to say that I spent the last hour reading through all your blog posts. :) You have such a beautiful family and such a lovely outlook on life. And I really connected to some of those posts - I live in D.F. now too as a teacher and as much as I try to focus on the positives here and really enjoy my life, there are times when it's really hard to be away from family and friends.
In your post from last October you mentioned drinking "pumpkin spice lattes" and I suddenly got a pang in my heart - It reminded me of being at home during Christmastime, working in retail and catching breaks with friends and trying to warm up by drinking the seasonal coffees from Starbucks.
Little things like that really do affect your emotions sometimes. :) Like I said, as much as I enjoy my time in D.F., I find that people don't write enough about how hard it can be to live somewhere else at times.
~*~
Ceri
Hi Ceri,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment. How long have you lived in D.F.? I completely understand how you feel about living somewhere different and far from home. We have lived here almost 4 years now and I still feel that way at times.
Where do you teach? I teach at The American School Foundation in the north of the city and really enjoy it. It's always fun to meet other teachers in the area.
I hope all is well and thanks again for reading and commenting!
-Lauren